Make It Real August 2011

Question: When my mother gives me advice she seems to bring up past mistakes that are embarrassing to me. The comments are not relevant to my current life as a Christian. I see myself repeating this with my own children. Can you help me break this pattern of behavior?

Answer: The Lord has been revealing to me that many people who have been shamed throughout their lives, or have judged their parents (or others who have shamed them), will continue the pattern of using shame to try and get someone to do what they feel is good for them. You should forgive your mother for using this tactic of the enemy to try to motivate you to action. This is probably something she learned as a proper way to communicate. More than likely, she has no idea that she is actually placing shame over your past to try and control your future.

In Christ, condemnation (shame being placed over our lives) has been broken. In Christ, the conviction of the Holy Spirit is now the force behind change in our lives. Conviction reveals our mistakes or wrong thinking, and then with hope we move into the place of wisdom to see change brought forth by the Holy Spirit. We agree with the Holy Spirit’s assessment of our wrong habits, attitudes or actions and then we repent. With repentance we can take that now recognizable sin issue to the cross, where not only is forgiveness released, but the power to deliver us from the evil is poured out by God’s grace.

When we repent of using shame to control others, then we can embrace the grace to use honor to lift others into the position that Christ has declared for them. Honor in the Kingdom of God is what shame is in the kingdom of darkness. Shame is putting people down and holding them to past mistakes. Satan desires for us to use shame to hurt people, even when many times our intention is to help those we care about.

Next time someone tries to shame you as they converse with you or about you, speak out in love that you are not your past mistakes. In love, tell them what God says about you. Ask the Holy Spirit to take the spirit that shames others out of your heart. Recognize this negative communicator for what it really is, and true repentance, which brings a heart change, will happen instantly. It is for freedom from evil that Christ set us free. The evil exposed in our own hearts, is the only evil that we have complete authority over. Ask God to set you free today to be a vessel of honor that releases heart felt honor to everyone you encounter. God bless you as you find healing from every area of shame that has been sown into your life.

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